yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
