her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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