SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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