I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
