You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she looked like the before picture.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
