All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
