Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
