Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
where are you?
Hypothermia
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
