Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
