I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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