It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
