who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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