Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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