I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
