dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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