To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
