I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
