so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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