Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
