i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
