maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
