I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
