every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
