I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
