There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
