After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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