try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
