There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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