I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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