Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
