I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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