Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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