Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
