was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
