Soap is not a condiment
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
