Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
