Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
