Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
