Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
