I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
