they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you didnt know i had herpes?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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