bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
