i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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