At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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