No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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