O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Semen is not good for contacts.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
