Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
