Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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