My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You did what with his pubic hair?
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