What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is my gift to your gina
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
